All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Stoop Sale

I nearly blew right by in my hurry to the subway
when I heard someone say, “Isn’t autumn lovely?”
And as I stopped to observe that this was correct
to the proprietor, I couldn’t help but inspect
the folding table by the railing laden with her goods:
ashtrays made of metal; little angels made of wood;
hand mirror with the handle broken (still pretty nice);
wall-wart to charge a telephone; trays to make ice.
The advice of my neighbor, “Go ahead, take your time.
We’ll negotiate price on whatever you find.”
And then shining in the detritus, I saw the brightest
flash of something precious. I began to feel the slightest
little tingle in my innards. I was like, “What’s that?”
Then her bare-tooth chuckle, “It’s a buckle for a strap
on a hat, like a lady wears to court or church.
But it holds a special property. I’ll tell you how it works.”

It was a stoop sale,
which is a garage sale if you live in Brooklyn,
which I do.
And at the stoop sale,
which is like a yard sale except that it’s in Brooklyn,
I got my due.

Somehow I knew she was serious. I reached to pick it up,
but she stayed my hand. Her reprimand, it was abrupt.
“This little trinket,” she said, “grants wishes.
It can make everything you ever eat delicious.
It can take away concern so you can sleep at night.
Can make the love of your life and you reunite.
Can right wrongs done in your past or in your future.
Make a winner out of whoever whoever owns it roots for.
But it only ever does one thing.
As you take possession of it, that’s the wish to which it clings.
So choose very carefully before we make a deal.
If there’s anything impossible you want to make real,
if there’s anything improbable you’d like to assure,
it will happen. And that’s when you have to endure
the regret that accompanies said decision-making:
all the other wishes in the world that you’ve forsaken.”

Could it be true? I wondered as I stared at the clasp.
Would some skills on the microphone be too much to ask?
Had a couple dark notions that involved revenge,
fame, glory, money, people love me and it never ends.
Shook these from my head like they were so much sleep
and thought instead I’d pretend that I was so much deep
as to offer every human in the world true peace,
so that we never kill each other, never get cooties,
never go hungry, suffer shelterlessness.
This generosity I felt compelled to dismiss
by my greed to see an old friend back living.
If I go the wrong direction, though, could I ever be forgiven?
While I stood daydreaming, somebody’d got a hold
of this little brass buckle, and he must have been so bold
as to put it in his pocket without it getting bought.
Saw him do it. He was wishing that he wouldn’t get caught.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)