All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

[Jonathan Coulton]
O.G., original gamer
Sad as Face Of A Stranger

[MC Lars]
Dad found me on the steps of the video arcade
Oprhan baby in a basket, seven pounds is all I weighed
And before I learned to walk well I'd mastered Donkey Kong
Q*bert, Final Fight, Master Blaster, and Pong
Blindfolded — okay yeah I know it sounds adorable
But dollars signs in pop's eyes grew creepy and deplorable
He said


Play by the noises, follow the ding boing...

[MC Lars]
Can I walk the dog and do my homework?

First, collect coins!
Kid, didn't I find you with a controller in hand?
Now why do you got to go and bring shame to your old man?
Same to your old fans; you were a child prodigy
up on a milk crate at the cabinet, making cottage cheese
out of anybody'd put a quarter on screen.
My pride in you, extended like the limbs of Dhalsim.
All green money motives must a back seat take!
Put the textbooks down, I'm trying to make you great.

[MC Lars]
Locked in the attic I was drilled from my crib to the stroller
While dad beat me senseless with the NES controller

Kid listen I promise, it's for your own good.
Wits that you’ve shown: should you level up? It’s understood!

[MC Lars]
I haven’t been out since ’98 like Sega Saturn
I’ve been learning ten-hit combos and the speed run patterns

More play, less chatter. You’re a champion, kid.
Under your mattress there had better be some cartridges hid.

[MC Lars]
Up down left right B A – mad scary
It’s like Clockwork Orange meets Ray Bradbury

It’s unnecessary to struggle; you’re fated to win,
but till you beat Bowser, you stay strapped in.

[MC Lars]
I want to live a fun life, I’ve only seen the sun twice
I want want real friends dad, Nintendogs won’t suffice

Why do you ask for nothing when the world could be yours?
Flesh-and-blood fun’s fleeting. Seek eternal high scores.

[MC Lars]
I want to go to school and clean my room
I don’t want to sit here playing Doom
3 Can’t you see I need to go out and play yo
Real sports like baseball, I’m sick of Halo

Then you’re sick of the meaning of life — at your age!
Better try a little harder, you want to clear that stage
and step into the middle of an existence examined.
Do it, or you’re grounded: make you play backgammon.

[MC Lars]
Here’s a list of things that I’d rather do
than sitting home playing Super Smash Brothers with you
Eat peas, do the dishes, walk the dog, mow the lawn
Take your Wii and shove it, I’m off pops, I’m gone…. Peace!

Don’t Joust with me kid, I’ll go Berzerk.
After all of your talent, all of my hard work,
all the winnings that you earn, your celebrity too,
you want to put us on the streets, like the TV movies do!

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)