All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)


Set up the mics, turn up the volume.
Everybody present, say "here" when I call you:
[Schaffer the Darklord]
Bought three movie tickets, got the front row.
Act I.
[Schaffer the Darklord]
Our plucky hero's home town:
Middle Americana, not a problem to be found.
A single dad of one son with a dog just trying his
best to make ends meet as a disaster scientist.
One day he stumbles upon some horrifying evidence.
Our hero decides, "I must inform the president."
"Even though you seem to know exactly what you talk about,
I don't think at this point in the plot I am going to hear you out.
But Washington's in fallout, can't return to my home.
There's flash floods, earthquakes. I pick up the red phone.
You get this ragtag team made of washed out marines
and Dr. Jennie Marie, she studies weather extremes.

[Jane Silence]
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
whenever you've got three nerd rappers.

Act II. Molten lava is chasing them around.
Big blue bolts of lightning spring up from underground.
But our hero and his team have some hope for a cure:
[Schaffer the Darklord]
"If we can just get this crew into the center of the earth,
we can install a nuclear device then detonate it.
My findings indicate that this will stave off devastation."
"I might have given in to my pride (that is my sin)
but take this check and shake my hand, 'cause you always trust a Whitesican."
[Schaffer the Darklord]
"Sir, you won't regret it. Launch your finest satellite.
Arm it with a laser canon aimed upon the blast site
to activate the nuke. But the clock is counting down.
We need to act fast as our time is running out."
Meanwhile: hurricanes, tidal waves, floods.
Sun flares cause it to seem to rain blood.
The President just got crushed by an asteroid.
And the plucky hero's son?
[Schaffer the Darklord]
"Run faster, boy!"

Last Act. Son makes it, dog doesn't.
Odds may be stacked against the team. They discuss it.
[Schaffer the Darklord]
A last ditch effort hangs heavy on our hero's mind:
"Blowing up the planet is the only hope for humankind."
And to his leading lady, "There is something I must say..."
"Hey, you and me can wait, I want to have another yesterday.
Sources say the Kremlin can take us into orbit.
Go to space, fix the lasers. And the earth: we can restore it."
[Schaffer the Darklord]
"That's it! A crazy plan, but we have to try.
The time is nigh, gather up supplies, we must survive!"
They head out for Russia in a little rowboat,
get menaced by glaciers, almost bite it but don't.
At the last moment a decision to be made:
there's the love or the boy, only one can get saved.
[Schaffer the Darklord]
If he thinks too long,
whole globe is in peril.
If you don't shed a tear at the end
your heart's sterile.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)