All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Scare Goat

Welcome! Cryptozoology 101.
I’m (um...) Professor Frontalot! And you’ve come
to talk about the Loch Ness Monster.
Everybody wants to, but its study belongs to
the humblest catalogs of unknown truth.
You can order on the internet its front left tooth.
You could read my dissertation, “On A Fin With A Hoof,”
then you know we don’t discuss it if there’s already proof.
Come on. Put away the gray textbook
with its Yeti, Yeren, Almas and Bigfoot.
All this input you should have got in your pre-reqs.
Scholarly pretense? Check it for defects.
Better we devote our time as a class
to discovering the meaning of the creature at last.
To the monster! Is it real? I don’t know.
It’s a Tennessee stiff-legged fainting goat.

Must be the stuff of folklore and magic:
a creature so impossibly tragic.
I believe a pig can take wing,
but a Scare Goat is such an impossible thing.

What’s the deterrent? Your mythology’s current.
Some’ve seen it up close, and those videos weren’t
abhorrent forgeries either, at all.
But a Scare Goat, I must insist, is forestalled
by any measure of your commonest sense,
and I wouldn’t think that I would even have to dispense
this info: that this thing is just made up.
“Scare Goat:” something somebody pulled out of his butt.
What? No, wait a minute, we all agree
that the Skunk Ape and the Jersey Devil run free.
Don’t try to test me in the Monterey Bay;
Bobo’s so real he’s become a cliché.
Got a Mongolian Death Worm at my house,
right next to Squonk and the Aqueous Mouse,
Chupacabras that pounce, though they’d never,
they can’t, on seizurey midgets that aren’t extant.

I’m the cryptozookeeper, true believer,
unicorn-chasing centaur seeker.
I’ll accept what I cannot see,
but the fainting goat is too much for me.
I’m the myth truster when facts are lackluster.
but myotonia congenita is too much, sir.
I’ll accept what I cannot see,
but not the fainting G O A T.

Go back in time, find Scully and Mulder.
Don’t ask, just grab their zoology folder,
then bring it back to me now, if I’m still around;
I might be mingling with Mole People underground
or up in the sky on a Hippogryph,
flying through this abyss (it’s in my syllabus).
I am instilling this knowledge in noggins:
imaginary animals come gumming and clogging
your mental acuity like the web of Anansi.
Now and in perpetuity cogitate fancily.
Figure this thing out, then sort it and keep it.
It’ll be on the final like Bo Peep on sheep dip
(which she would have been on, if she’d been real —
she lived up in the meadow, wasn’t that genteel).
I feel, in addition, since her tale’s untrue,
girl must have been attendant to the Scare Goat too.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)