All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Start Over

Little Red Riding Hood was in good
with the food distribution, by her own volition
choosing to sincerely deliver
to old folks: succor; also vigor;
cheese and crackers; salt and coffee;
medicine to help the heart beat softly.
Awfully kind in her mission,
Red was (yes) in a head-on collision
with the forces of trouble,
long in the tooth plus stubble. And this goes double
for all little girls: know who wolves are.
Don’t be telling them where you’re going, how far
in what direction it is, especially if
it’s the unguarded cottage where Grama lives.
This is just common sense
(with which Little Red dispensed).
Hence, she proceeded on her way
through the woods to Grama’s place.
Little Red Riding hood rolled up,
took one look and was like what the... uh,
what the heck? Grama got a hairy neck?
Teeth enough to get wrecked?
Next up: wood axe swinging.
That’s how it happened. That’s all I’m singing.

That’s the story (that ain’t how it happened...)
I won’t start over if you don’t stop yapping.

Wolves got it hard on this earth,
ever the subjects of defamation and mirth,
first in line to be out there, lurking,
eyeing ingénues and smirking,
working on a master plan,
trying to get fed about the best he can.
Wondering if Grama got much meat,
endeavoring not to be indiscreet:
“How many them baskets she go through a month?
How does she react when she misses lunch?
And what direction was she living in, again?
Well, you better hurry up and go and visit her then.”
But wolves are speedier than little girls.
Barely pausing to devour jackrabbits and squirrels,
the wolf arrived.
All the rest, despicable lies.
All that talk of assumed identity,
let it be. This wolf was indelibly
wolf-like, forthright too.
He said, “Grama, here’s what I’ll do:
swallow you whole, your kinfolk for after,
then I’ll keep living, so you don’t have to.
Sorry, starving wolf, no choice.
To get in the gullet, just follow my voice.”

All right, Grama was hanging alone,
cultivating the medicine for the glaucoma.
She paid rent in the forest. It was inexpensive.
Grama’s house was in the intensively
wolf-rife section of town.
She didn’t mind, she liked a wild hound.
Sound at the door: an intruder!
“Is that you, Red? You brought food for
me to eat?” “Nope, the opposite.
No hard candy, so soft chocolate.
Just a wolf belly for you to inhabit,
and I will need your nightshirt for the next gambit.”
Clandestinely reclining in bed,
the wolf awaits (for Red!),
expecting their usual banter:
“How’s school?” “Fine, Grama,
here’s food.” “Thanks dear.”
Instead it’s all, “What’s up with the ears?
Eyes? Nose? Throat? Teeth?”
“Little Red Riding Hood, why you giving me grief?
Bodies change as the years advance,
soft features grow unkind to the glance,
and hairs sprout.
All of it the better for you getting in my mouth!”
“Wow, it’s dark in here,” says Grama.
Here comes the wood axe, swinging like “Yeah, y’all!”
Old woman, come on back out,
and you keep the axe. Wolves abound.

That’s the story (that ain’t how it happened...)
That’s all I got, so you commence napping.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)