All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Pr0n S0ng

Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk.
No jest! It’s time Frontalot confessed:
at the best of times, got the worst of rhymes.
And I don’t think I’m the first to find
my life devoted less to lyrics
than it is to my struggle for pyrrhic
victory in the race to be
teh intarweb’s number one devotee
of smutty little things that occur onscreen
(risqué to — hey! — quintuple-x obscene):
MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly;
twins in positions unseemly.
My spleen ain’t the part that gets vented.
I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it.
Distended, probably oughta leave it alone,
spend more time stroking on the microphone.

Got a boatload of midgets and they’re in command
of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands.
Got a long hard donkey and a farm girl too
and the braying’s so dismaying when he starts to spoo.
Got to click close, put it away
‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Lurking in #pass chans on the IRC,
got DCC’d unexpectedly
with an 80-minute XviD: Nuns In Heat
Part III: Bad Habits
. I’m so l337
that I had that one already.
Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy.
Whipped it out, but to my chagrin,
one toss from a win when the boss walked in,
said, “Nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t
for a latex crucifix spanking a taint
in big 32-bit color
while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller.”
I said, “You can’t fire me; I quit!”
Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk.
Absconded, all with the data in hand:
thirty-one years of Hustler scans;
plans for how to construct a love swing;
archived since spring of ‘92;
receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes;
tools for an online poll I ran
(vote once, Tubgirl or Goatse Man);
glands galore, explore for hours;
diaper play and roman showers;
glory hole video, deep as it gets;
MPEGs of an heiress that she ought regret,
cap’d on cam from a hijacked feed.
Half a terabyte, so whatcha need?
Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back,
red on brown on blond on black,
ganged up, tied up, all alone:
every delectation to which I’m prone.

Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love.
Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffing it up.
Got a Craig’s List poster trading poo for pee.
Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes.
Got to click close, put it away
‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

The backslash on my keyboard’s stuck.
Mouse wheel don’t turn ‘cause it’s all gummed up.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)