All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)


I wasn’t the smartest boy in the household by a longshot.
I knew of wandering the graveyard that it’s best met with an onslaught
of something called shudders.
It’s when your body trembles and your heart skips, sputters,
and you mutter counter-evils, and you grip on to your charms.
I’ve never comprehended the alarm
caused by things described variously as scary,
terrifying, ghastly. Could I follow this? Barely.
Certainly never felt it. Never shuddered, and my pops
sent me packing, called me bad luck kid, head full of rocks.
I talked so loudly of my ignorance as I roamed,
complained I couldn’t get frightened, and might have bemoaned
that I’d been disowned. A friendly hangman beckoned
but I partied with his danglers, didn’t shudder for a second.
Then I heard about a castle in the distance that was haunted.
Nobody lasted there an evening. Could it be just what I wanted? Didn’t know.

Didn’t know
there was anything
in the world
to be frightened of

I wasn’t the first one to show up claiming bravery.
The rumored ends of my predecessors were unsavory.
They’d become the catering at a feast of ghouls and spirits!
Neither the king nor his people would set foot near it.
This seemed good; fear, it glistened in their eyes as they spoke.
I figured I could pick the habit up and go
(maybe all the way back home, having understood shuddering).
Did the townspeople deem me a simpleton? Utterly.
What a first night it was, too! The hellbeasts
were like from a nightmare. I think? I don’t get bad dreams.
I tried to nap but the furniture floated and spun.
We did some doughnuts in the stable yard! Fun.
The second night’s vigilance wasn’t any more fruitful:
zombies down the chimney till the whole rec room’s full.
All-bone nine-pin, glad I brought my lathe.
Though I lost some money gambling, my denseness was unscathed.

Third and final evening, my reanimated corpse
cuddle-buddy tried to strangle me. Reliable sources
report that I chucked him back in his coffin and sighed,
despaired of finding shudders locally and set to stride.
Didn’t I want my reward? The hand of the castle’s princess?
A path to power and riches, and this is its ingress?
And this is my dimness, I guess, but I choose to keep questing:
find the next hypothesis of scariness and keep testing.
But here’s that princess requesting that I reconsider.
And as I spy her she reminds me of my babysitter,
a village girl I had a crush on as a lad,
who never even noticed that I couldn’t make eye contact.
This one’s staring me down.
She’s used to getting her way, been wearing a crown.
Is she scaring me now, with her “think about it, please?”
I got this odd involuntary shaking in my knees.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)