All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Gold Locks

Young cub, this is the story of how you must never neglect
(no matter how preoccupied your nascent intellect)
to keep in mind doors! And close them behind you.
Any time you leave one ajar, she might find you.
I describe: human girl with wealth for hair,
ghosts for eyes, who wanders woods. Bears, beware.
Through any doorway no closure obstructs,
she wanders out of hunger. If she sees you, eats you up.
Bear cub tallow scone with a honeydew butterwhip;
consommé from your bones and your cartilage;
fennel-mint sausages ground from your lungs;
hollandaise all atop your remains by the time that she’s done.
It’s why we leave porridge sitting,
case she makes it through an entryway, cold jaws dripping,
her saliva unremitting and her soul corrupt.
(She could eat that instead of you, little cub.)

[Gabrielle Sterbenz]
Gold Locks
gets in through your open door,
stalks across the parlor floor,
creeping on her brunch.
Let’s hope
she has had her fill,
won’t be lingering here still,
seeking out her brunch.

[Jean Grae]
Amber alert: call the fairy tale amber lamps 
‘cause this banana-colored-haired girl’s bananas, stabbing bears.
Beware of the bear hugs. I'll kill you with my bare hands
when you’re barely sleeping, tear your lungs and leave you barren chest. 
Don't believe the tales they told you where the humans win?
I'll take your humerus and feed it to my human friends.
Eyes luminous, voice is very soothing, yes. 
I’ll break and enter with entitlement that few possess. 
I’ll go crying through the forest and the woods,
to the farmers in the village with an armful of goods. 
And by an armful of goods, I mean meat.
And I mean your little bear cub arms and your feet.
So better promise to your mama: leave the door locked. 
‘Cause you don't want to be at the base of a farmer’s tall pot. 
Don't mean to scare you, I really need to warn you:
watch out for the frock ‘cause Goldilocks is coming for you.

Calm, calm, little bear. Settle down deep in your blanketing.
Yes, she’s lurking, but best remain sanguine.
She’s not angry at you, just hungry.
People don’t have feelings like bears, honey,
they’re supernatural creatures that eat without cease,
and they keep bound books full of us recipes,
and this one freezes our hearts on return to the lair.
What if she’s gotten in and she’s still there?
Don’t clutch the blanket, she visits when we’re absent.
That and your absentmindedness acts as an attractant.
One moment’s diligence is all it takes to defend
your mother and me and yourself from an unwelcome end.
All of her human friends, they could bring mimosa.
Goldie gets her knives in you, might invite them all over
to the spot that she found for brunch.
It could happen if you leave the door open just once.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)