All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)

Just Once

Just once, I don’t want to hump tonight.
Why can’t we hang out and talk? Pie
is a delightful treat. Let’s share a slice together.
Then you and I can say goodnight
and wander into a dream.

Just once, I don’t want to kiss and hug tonight
on the rug by the side of some firelight.
Glass of wine, soft music, the whole nine yards.
You shuffle Kama Sutra Illustrated tarot cards.
You sing, “Tough luck, buddy, this is your fate.”
Then you render prediction: that you and I are to mate,
that it’ll be great. You point out: it always is.
So I should take off my clothes, so you can give me the biz.
I say Ms., please tarry, desist for a spell.
You know that you’re my very number one mademoiselle,
and I’m luckier than I can describe
to have a woman of your caliber ever give me the eye.
Still, try to see it from my position:
you have such a high sexiness coefficient,
and though the flesh is willing, my spirit is weak.
I keep imagining an evening when I don’t get freaked.

Why can’t we just hold hands at the cinema?
We hump twice in the handicap stall, minimum,
before the previews roll, then the popcorn, hole
in the bottom. Subtleties: these are not ‘em.
The keys: glad I brought ‘em. You’re cuffing yourself
to the custodial closet’s utility shelf.
Futility melts into purpose: I play the warden one more time.
You’re inordinately fine.
Now by my measurements, you’ve had a few O’s.
Why don’t we just treasure it, cuddle and rub noses,
put clothes on and on and don’t stop till we’re totally clad.
Then my soul could be glad,
to have a moment in your company without all the moans,
maybe replenish some ATP, settle our bones.
Dulcet tones: share feelings, ideas, and views.
How come you want me for my body when my brain is so huge?

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)