All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

Apocalypse Bards

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Bad Nerd

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Dating Profile


Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Extremely Online

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Hate Your Blog (Unplugged 2019)

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Internet Sucks

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

ITC Stranger

IWF (Internetting While Female)

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Memes Are Stupid

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Never Read The Comments

Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Is Not A Drill

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Algorithm (by Mega Ran)

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Boyfriend Material (by Miss Eaves)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Old Enough (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Proto Culture Redux [Remix] (by Mega Ran and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Revenge Of The Nerds Part II (by MC Lars)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Tag Team (by Beefy)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Mega Ran)

Watchmen (by MC Lars and Mega Ran)


Last time I had a math class, there wasn't any internet
invented yet. That isn't on the level but I'll try to pique your interest
with half-truths and lies.
As ever, MC Frontalot feigns innocence and denies.
I won't admit it. You can't make me say it:
that I dropped Calc B more than a year before Mosaic.
Oh no now it's out, now it's shouted from the balconies:
that Frontalot's about to be engaging in some alchemy.
I'll turn a string of operands into some smut.
If that sort of thing's offensive to you keep eyes shut.
Or better yet, don't even enter, into calculator, song.
But if you're ready to be titillated, follow along.

Ready? Go. Eighty women went to the podiatrist.
Arrive: simultaneous. Soon the scene's riotous.
Nine just leave. Those in the difference persevere,
packing up the lobby very tightly, domineered
by one Sally Gorey (that's her given name)
(though her title is Reception) (and professional acclaim
is due her) ('cause she did what needed doing). And it's done:
she opened up the schedule, slotted every single one.
But, um... not many on a Friday afternoon!
All but an eighteenth of the women in the room
had to vrooooom. For each remaining patient
x-rays were taken. Then the doctor took vacation.

Why was that vacation germane to the math?
'Cause of good data policy in the office and a vast
abundance of caution on the part of our Sally:
eight backups nightly, automated, and the tally
only ever shrinking when manually deleted.
All of this occurring in the box behind reception so she needed
a full backup of that box, noons.
These weren't incremental, so her server needs ballooned.
Who deserved to flee Duluth? The doctor was in Rio
for three work weeks and another Monday just to be so
thoroughly relaxed upon return.
Have you gathered all the facts that you needed to discern?

Morning in the office, after vacatings:
out of those belonging to the original 80 ladies.
How many digital toes were in images grand total?
Your evidence so far is largely anecdotal.
And you're keen to know if any had deformity. So icky!
Ten toes per customer; this puzzle: not that tricky.
Key in your calc. Check your seven-segment indicator.
Now add my eliteness. Notice that the sum is greater
than expected. You still have to subtract
two for a pair of things Sally has that I lack.
I warned you it was kind of immature; I wasn't skirting the issue.
Still you snicker at the calculator. "Dirty! I need a tissue."

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2020 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)