All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Megaran)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Megaran)

I Heart Fags

I love fags because I am a San Franciscan.
If you’re dissing on my homos
then this censure’s what you’re risking
(I’m insisting on containing my temper but listen up):
you shouldn’t ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!

Fags are great. They’ve got hundreds of uses.
You can see them on TV explaining what puce is.
Abstruse is the world, but very simple is the homo:
he or she is anyone who’s keen to do another one more so
than the opposite. Follow?
Fags are great ‘cause almost every single one swallows —
or so I’m led to believe. Lesbians also I’ve heard of,
not to mention non-gender-identified spivaks seeking nerd love.
And I’ve spurned just about everything there is,
‘cause I was born here, and here’s where I live.
Here, I give you this advice: love a fag today,
either up close and personally or from far away.
See, fags are gay, and gay’s a good adjective.
It means like happy and high, but you had to just
shy me away from the topic of my fag-love...
something maybe that you’re lacking in? Don’t get mad just
‘cause you don’t have such a big heart as Frontalot.
You could love fags too! You already think dykes are hot.
Why not come on down to the street fair?
There’s asses in chaps plus rough trade to meet there,
some of whom been barebacking it in back alleys for years.
Yo, I promise if you visit you could meet some queers.
And if you love even just one, hooray!
If you don’t, well I hope you enjoyed your stay,
and I hope you go on your merry way
with the chorus of my song slowly turning you gay.

And you don’t love fags. This much is apparent.
You’re having nightmares about them. Every time you get your hairs cut,
you stare what you suspect could be a queer man
in the eye, in the mirror, enzymes coming out your fear gland.
He’s got scissors near your eardrums!
You might lose your hearing, you don’t watch it with these queer ones.
And here comes your presidential cheerleader now,
so “disturbed” by the marriages in my home town
that he’s got to take the tip top law in the land down
scribble on it: “I hate homos, big bad frown.”
Put it back up, be like “What? It’s better!
Y’all were with me a second ago
when I said that marriage was threatened!
And it was! Under siege by these villains.
Can you believe they wanted to gang up and have children?
Tthere would be an army of them, teeming and thronging,
tempting every American to give in to forbidden longing.
I thought they couldn’t reproduce. That was their weakness!
Now what are we gonna do? They’re gonna seek just
treatment under the law? Dammit, that’s like saying
it’s okay to be gay. Or a lesbian! Hey man,
you cannot say that. Society would crumble and fall apart.”
I’ll think about that on the BART,
gladdening every inch of the ride
to be on the way to the where-I-reside:
not just a place where I keep my stuff,
but the spot got plenty of the kind of person that I love.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2016 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)