All Of Front’s Lyrics


A Little Bit Broad

A Very Unlikely Occurrence

Better At Rapping

Bizarro Genius Baby

Black Box



Captains Of Industry

Charisma Potion

Charity Case

Chisel Down

Colonel, Panic!

Crime Spree

Critical Hit

Devil In The Attic


Diseases of Yore

Fast Company (30 Sec. MBA)

Final Boss

First World Problem

Floating Bridge

Forbidden Planet

Freedom Feud

Fresh Dog

Front The Least

Front The Most

Gold Locks

Gonna Be Your Man

Good Old Clyde

Goth Girls

Hassle: the Dorkening

I Can See

I Hate Your Blog

I Heart Fags

I'll Form The Head

In Arrears

Indier Than Thou

Invasion Of The Not Quite Dead

It Is Pitch Dark

Jacquelyn Hyde

Just Once

Listen Close

Livin' At The Corner Of Dude & Catastrophe

Machine Of Death

Message No. 419

Mornings Come And Go

Mountain Kind

Much Chubbier

My Sister

Nerd Versus Jock

Nerdcore Hiphop

Nerdcore Rising


Oh, The Hilarity

Origin Of Species

Penny Arcade Theme

Power User

Pr0n S0ng

Rappers We Crush

Rewind That Back

Rhyme of the Nibelung

Romantic Cheapskate (Song Fight version)

Romantic Cheapskate v.2.0

Scare Goat

Secrets From The Future

Shame of the Otaku



Small Data

Sockington 1M Theme

Socks On


Special Delivery

Speed Queen

Spoiler Alert

Start Over

Stoop Sale


The Council Of Loathing

This Old Man

Tongue-Clucking Grammarian

TP Factory Tour

Twenty-Six Hundred

Two Dreamers

Victorian Space Prostitute



Which MC Was That?

Yellow Lasers

You Got Asperger's

Your Friend Wil

Zero Day


Guest Verses

Borken Telephone (by Rock, Paper, Cynic)

Challenge Your Audience (by Mikal kHill)

Epic Fail (by Ken Flagg)

I Like It (by Supercommuter)

I Need Your Help (by Doug Funnie)

Intervention (by Schaffer The Dark Lord)

Kabuto Party (by Kabuto The Python)

Look At Me (by Allie Goertz)

Mecha Mechanics (by Whoremoans)

Noggin User (by Wordburglar)

O.G. Original Gamer (by MC Lars)

Oneonta (by MC Lars)

Ping Pong (by Optimus Rhyme)

Plastic Submarine (by The Grammar Club)

Reset Button (by Random AKA Megaran)

Salieri (by Adam WarRock)

Soda Water (by Jess Klein)

Teenage Dirtbag (by Wheatus)

Wake Up (by Random AKA Megaran)

Yellow Lasers

Met her at the Star Wars convention.
Did I mention she was looking for love?
Had to call her bluff, “Lady, you don’t mean how that sounded.
The thousand-pound dude in the ‘no fat chicks’ shirt’s astounded.”
Thought she’d take it back, revoke, rescind, rewind, retract.
“You heard me,” she said, “I want any man here
to descend in the cave where you conquer the fear,
and I’ll steer you to side of the force that you choose.
Somebody’s man enough here — now who?”
This girl, now you have to understand,
would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man,
so the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor. One extends his
saber but he tripped on his cloak. I stepped to the front then I spoke:
“I ain’t spitting game, look, I got a Wookiee hat on.
But these guys here are used to getting spat on
by girls. See, you put em in shock.
And this ain’t the right con to quote Mister Spock
but it’s highly illogical to me.”
Girl looked in my eye, said, “is your mind free?

‘Cause I got something for you. It is shiny, it is clean.
Come on up and I’ll adore you with my yellow laser beam.”

Sitting in her room upstairs,
watching her wind up the buns in her hair,
I declare that “I’d like to be Luke
unless that’s a little bit too perverted for you.
I could be Jabba, a Jawa, an Ewok
when we talk, ‘oo ga la gee bla!’
Wait — I seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,
don’t remember any character tied to the bed.
But that’s all right, I’ll just pretend that I’m encased in carbonite.
And why that’s a nice gold bikini; you make that?
Shows off what you got, no mistake: that’s
one fine view of Chewbacca you’re giving me.
Lower that down here, we could be living the
linguistic lifestyle of the protocol droid.”
Here comes the part where I’m not overjoyed.
“Fire!” she said, and before I could scream,
got a steaming mouth full of yellow laser beam.

Lyrics Copyright © 1999-2016 by MC Frontalot / Published by Nerdcore Fervor Conglomerated (ASCAP)