How To Give Away Money Like A Sucker
Many people struggle with the moral and emotional burden of excess funds. Finally, there is an easy solution that works perfectly for everyone!
Join the Frontalot.com Valued Sucker Program
1) Get an account :: 2) Donate some money :: 3) Ha ha! Sucker!
What incredible incentives are guaranteed yours when you become a Valued Sucker? Consult this unordered list:
- Hear New Songs First
- Download Studio Tracks That Non-Suckers Can't
- Access A Massive Archive of Several Complete Live Sets
- Check Out The Secret Videos (They're Secret)
- Also, There Is A Secret Image Gallery To Check Out
- “Jack In” To The Elite Sucker Forums On The BBS
- Exert Your Superior Taste While Voting On OSB Remixes, Front's MP3s, Pics, Vids, Dorknotes, Etc, Thereby Endlessly Re-Ordering Things For Non-Valued Site Visitors
- Eagerly Anticipate In-Development VSP Benefits: The MC Frontalot Text Adventure; Totally Worthless Site Chat; 72 SLI-Chained Video Cards Awaiting You In Heaven
- Subsidize Front's Coffee, Eye Doctor Visits, Rent
Of course, the most important thing is that you don't have the money any more. This help you not to get:
- Invited To Terrible Weekends In Aspen Listening To Some Asshole Talk About Time Shares
Do not hesitate. Do not think about it too hard. Join the ranks of the Valued Suckers immediately. It will be awesome. And consequently Frontalot will continue to run his site and buy lime popsicles.
Frontalot promises to stop begging for money on the internets as soon as he gets totally wealthy from that whole being-a-rapper thing he's been working on.