Penny Arcade Conventions! They continue to have occurred recently. Do you need the proof of a low-res video interview with MC Front? Such proofs are hard to trust when the mesh and textures are available to simulate and screen-cap any photorealistic Frontalot fantasy situation you might devise. We know, of course, that the only proper way to play a video game with Front in it is to boot up Add's original Spacers. It is a passtime available now only to members of our vaulted VSP.
Hey! Frontalot will be doing a show in New York City on October 21st at Crash Mansion. Optimus Rhyme joins him there! An evening of nerdish rapping the likes of which are seldom seen. Yet it may be seen four or five times in late October as the OR/MCF minitour takes shape.
Do you have a wonderful and serious lead on an appropriately sized and well equipped venue in Boston/Cambridge? How about DC? Write in to email@example.com if so. Pittsburgh is in the works. It is not impossible that Cleveland will follow suit. We apologize to you, the Frontalot front-page enthusiast; we do not usually seek booking aid so nakedly, so publicly. But we are between agents at the moment. And how often do we get to team up with The Optimus for their east coast debut? (by semantic necessity: once ever.)
Did you notice that the Elmo's Potty Time DVD is out? Although this sounds like the sort of information a frontalot.com news post might leverage towards a series of engaging and pithy lies, we instead announce this DVD's release in service of a solemn truth: the rapper who, in the closing third of the program, leads aspiring young toilet users through their tour of the toilet paper factory is none other than our own MC. His Sesame Workshop debut makes a great gift for any youngster contemplating independence from diapers — and to be honest, none of us are so great at using the bathroom that we can't benefit from the occasional refresher course.
As Penny Arcade Expo gets methodically scrubbed and vaccumed out of the Meydenbauer (never to return), those who attended must struggle to reintegrate with normal life. Or they can be all like jeers to that, keep the musky Rain-Slick Precipice shirt on, sign up for a five-cases weekly Bawls delivery, plug that fun-ass zombie game into the 360 and just live that way until Gabe and Tycho are ready to host again.
2500 such PAX folk jammed in to see Front's set Saturday night. The sabers swung. The palms shot skyward in unison when it was time for nerdcore to rise up. Front was overwhelmed with the sheer holleriness of a crowd that size. He thanks you all for your swarming, as well as your many kind words and handshakings at his booth! Afterwards, Enforcer Lee and a number of Neskimos aided Front in an all-night
drunken revelry poetry discussion that culminated in a rather large number of police officers swarming the Hyatt. Our friendly MC, you'll be glad to learn, avoided legal entanglements and escaped with a Natty Lite.
Hello internet peoples! It is the beginning of a new era for frontalot.com. Do you dig the post-robotech color skew? Do you love the pathetically "Web 1.0" fixed-width column design? And hows about them bran spanky new site features?
There's an mp3 page. There has always been one of those, but this one's neater. Featured under Singles is the brand new release, Goth Girls, from the CD Nerdcore Rising. And as the Valued Suckers (aka members of Front's bizarre and cultish paid-entry fanclub; beware them or become them) decide which songs are their favorites, you are slowly able to sort the mp3s (and most other site content) by popularity. Because popularity is important. That's why we're all so keenly aware of how indie we are. And of which jerkoffs called us "nerd" across the courtyard in 7th grade. Well who's laughing now, Jed Guildersleve? Who has an entire rap career based on that very epithet? Not you! Also, there are some OGGs on the music page, by popular (popular!) demand. And more to come.
There's a video page these days. There's a new version of the image galleries, and now you can actually see pictures of MC Frontalot there. We use the italics to drive home the incredible irony of the fact that this feature is premiering in year seven of the site. And we don't mean Canadian chanteuse irony. Good solid American irony. The info page remains a doofy clearing house for overwritten site copy that does not belong elsewhere. Plenty of new minor details there. Like a faq question or two. And a calendar.
The Open Source Beats Project is launched at long long last. Front has been promising this for the last four years to all DJs who write in requesting a capella tracks. And now, without warning, it happens. For launch we have not got automated DJ registration, fancy uploading, or very many source kits. A distant Phase III or IV of the project will include version branching and source control so that DJs can actually work together on remixes. Patent pending.
The BBS (once a VSP hideout) has opened to the public. Front is still busy skinning it, so if you find a broken-looking page, have patience. If you find real errors there or anywhere in the site, though, do please write in with a bug report.
This is the site Front always wanted to offer you internet peoples, and now after many months of toil, voila. Front owes a great deal to his all-volunteer, all-genius dev squad, without whom you would still be staring at the 2002 green box version of the site. So big ups to: Colin, Blob, OrionsGlory, Squashua, Opiate, and Yuki! Front owes you guys big.
Isn't there other exciting shit going on this week? Oh, yeah: Front's in the print versions of Wired and TimeOut, and rocks his second-ever quadruple-digit crowd at PAX on Saturday night. Yaaaawn. New website!!